____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
