conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
