Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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