You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
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we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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