just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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