well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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