I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
