Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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