I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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