While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
