Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
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Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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