I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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