strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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