I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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