Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
