HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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