Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
