Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
