I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
