Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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