i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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