Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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