No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
