I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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