Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
