i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think my moral compass just broke
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