'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
