Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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