the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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