so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
