Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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