is your mom at the bar?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
