Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
