I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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