Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
