My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
