Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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