And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
