The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We had sex on a dog bed..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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