maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
