Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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