i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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