Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
