is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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