Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
