she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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