just tell him i said nine months
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
