he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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