i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
