At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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