she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
