How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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