maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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