i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
