I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize