You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
