glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
