yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
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I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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