Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
