here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
