Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
