sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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